4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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