i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm really into asian looking animals
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
