plz talk dirty to me
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
