I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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