just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
