Porn is love you can see.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
