And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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