my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
