It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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