i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i've created a new STD.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
