Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.

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  (847): the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker. http://tfl.nu/4drl
  Replies (13) Good night (2085) Bad night (847)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.

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  (252): I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real. http://tfl.nu/u784
  Replies (20) Good night (841) Bad night (3262)
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  (818): View more from California

  I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.

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  (818): I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO. http://tfl.nu/pbw8
  Replies (15) Good night (4220) Bad night (858)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid

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  (708): She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid http://tfl.nu/fpm2
  Replies (26) Good night (8545) Bad night (1005)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."

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  (404): He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on." http://tfl.nu/t6j5
  Replies (2) Good night (5175) Bad night (957)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.

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  (313): I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city. http://tfl.nu/cnew
  Replies (9) Good night (1369) Bad night (2567)
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  (420): View more from

  The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome

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  (420): The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome http://tfl.nu/b0jj
  Replies (16) Good night (3785) Bad night (960)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.

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  (+44): One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend. http://tfl.nu/kcdy
  Replies (12) Good night (2599) Bad night (728)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey

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  (717): apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey http://tfl.nu/5avv
  Replies (4) Good night (2024) Bad night (1148)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.

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  (773): I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again. http://tfl.nu/53df
  Replies (6) Good night (1846) Bad night (656)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there

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  (812): Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there http://tfl.nu/jzmv
  Replies (4) Good night (1261) Bad night (766)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You rock my world.

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  (417): I just smoked weed out of a baked potato. (309): You rock my world. http://tfl.nu/p2ud
  Replies (4) Good night (1044) Bad night (554)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  there was so much lube in my brother's closet...

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  (847): there was so much lube in my brother's closet... http://tfl.nu/yytv
  Replies (2) Good night (453) Bad night (1017)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho

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  (617): woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho http://tfl.nu/i91s
  Replies (2) Good night (650) Bad night (304)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  New vibrator arrived today.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How was it?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who are these wee mortals we call men?

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  (717): New vibrator arrived today. (1-717): How was it? (717): Who are these wee mortals we call men? http://tfl.nu/0kg2
  Replies (4) Good night (774) Bad night (105)

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