Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.

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  (210): Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl. http://tfl.nu/ha6v
  Replies (6) Good night (757) Bad night (1669)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.

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  (850): lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita. http://tfl.nu/5n5t
  Replies (35) Good night (4275) Bad night (862)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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  (214): She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister. http://tfl.nu/9ks8
  Replies (37) Good night (8261) Bad night (656)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am

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  (641): i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am http://tfl.nu/xq9v
  Replies (30) Good night (5044) Bad night (660)
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  (+44): View more from England

  What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?

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  (+44): What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight? http://tfl.nu/q5oy
  Replies (15) Good night (953) Bad night (3815)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Maybe he just has a boisterous penis

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  (203): Maybe he just has a boisterous penis http://tfl.nu/s2rt
  Replies (17) Good night (3391) Bad night (819)
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  (858): View more from California

  Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.

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  (858): Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show. http://tfl.nu/suqh
  Replies (31) Good night (1376) Bad night (4606)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.

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  (585): He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius. http://tfl.nu/hqjt
  Replies (26) Good night (7940) Bad night (1215)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  2.5

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  (740): How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement? (1-740): 2.5 http://tfl.nu/yjjp
  Replies (7) Good night (4455) Bad night (930)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.

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  (541): he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'. http://tfl.nu/j3su
  Replies (11) Good night (3682) Bad night (1483)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  She still started it.

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  (651): No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister. (1-651): She still started it. http://tfl.nu/h5sx
  Replies (7) Good night (2802) Bad night (934)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.

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  (410): My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end. http://tfl.nu/noz9
  Replies (12) Good night (623) Bad night (2952)
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  (818): View more from California

  Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong

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  (818): Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong http://tfl.nu/kuq0
  Replies (4) Good night (773) Bad night (338)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me

  (937): View more from Ohio

  And I also said, "probe me"

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  (937): I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me (937): And I also said, "probe me" http://tfl.nu/a3ve
  Replies (8) Good night (842) Bad night (501)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….

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  (303): You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas…. http://tfl.nu/ehgv
  Replies (0) Good night (489) Bad night (254)

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