and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
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Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old