the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.