i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker