it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
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Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
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You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.