Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.

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(360): View more from Washington

She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.

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(404): View more from Georgia

she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(716): View more from New York

I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.

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(360): View more from Washington

I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.

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(281): View more from Texas

The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.

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(703): View more from Virginia

WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'

(661): View more from California

The cougar kind?

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(561): View more from Florida

That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old

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