you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
