I think I just saw someone hide a body.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
