she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
