New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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