i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
