My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize