dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
3 2 1 whiskey
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
