are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
