Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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