And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You don't make any sense
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