Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
