i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
