i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
