Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So squirting runs in the family.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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