okay pat passed out under dana's car
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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