Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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