a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Randomize
