Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think my vagina is haunted
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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