Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
