Need sex. Gaining weight.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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