you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
