I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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