First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
