I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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