Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
