lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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