A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize