3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I touched a dick in church today
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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