they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize