my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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