I'm sorry my penis didn't work
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
