just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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