I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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