throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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