I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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