Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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