Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
