y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
