Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
