Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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