You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize