My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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