Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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