Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
