question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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