she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
