11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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