apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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