i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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